Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize