Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
