these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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