I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
