i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
