Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
