So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
