Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
