i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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