I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
