It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
