she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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