i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
