I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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