love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
