i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
