smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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