Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize