Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
