who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize