We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
