called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
