dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
