Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
