i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
