I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
