I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
