so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
