Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize