New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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