my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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