I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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