Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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