5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think my moral compass just broke
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
