You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
