So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
