good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
