well you can't waste a boner
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
