the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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