I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
