guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize