i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
