Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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