Where did you get a picture of my penis
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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