she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
