the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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