Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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