Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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