she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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