come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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