Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize