Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am naked and annoyed.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
