Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Everything about him screamed your future.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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