WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
