what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
