You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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