I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
