oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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