Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
pray to the hookup gods
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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