My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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