1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize