so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
