At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
they need to just BURY HIM!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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