sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
