i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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