it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
