Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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