I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
