I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
