I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
