I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just had sex on a roof
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
