never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
