Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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