at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
