Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
accomplished twins. life is a go
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
