Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
