If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
