I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A+ Viking dick
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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