after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
