Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
