i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
