i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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