My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize