How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize