We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
